Posted in Identity

Me sophonia

Misophonia. Hatred of sounds.

But not just hated of sounds. Hatred of very specific sounds. And not just hatred of very specific sounds, but hatred of very normal sounds, which turns into hatred of your best friend’s sounds, your roommates sounds, and your father’s sounds. Who hates sounds?

It is not just a hatred of sounds, but an uncontrollable switch. When it’s on, it makes your blood boil. So no, it’s not just a hatred of sounds.

No. no.

It’s being stuck in the same room as somebody running their nails down a chalkboard and sucking all the air out of the room. That person is there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That person is there for car rides when the music isn’t loud enough. That person is an imposter and that person is your family, friends, and coworkers. It’s the people you care about, and it’s the people you don’t know you care about yet. So it’s not just a hatred of sounds. It’s the emotional abuse of not knowing whether you’all be able to eat in the same room as your future kids, and knowing that there will be people who can’t understand why them licking their fingers is like a kick in the stomach. Who simply will never comprehend that while they enjoy their gum, you sit, feeling like nails are being driven into your back, but your legs are stuck in the cement.

So it’s not just a hatred of sounds. You get to choose to hatred.

But my hatred of sounds is isolation, it’s not being able to escape, it’s daily, it’s torture, it’s emotionally and physically draining, it’s real, it’s not my choice.

Misophonia. So much more than the hatred of sounds.

 

Posted in Random

Increased airport security: Local dog stays positive in old age; despite hardship — Consistency Is Boring

… can be found greeting international arrivals at gate 5 of the SCL airport, and, like any good dog of service, always sticks with his companions until they are seen on their way. Currently, he struggles with old age and his life has become plagued with…

via Increased airport security: Local dog stays positive in old age; despite hardship — Consistency Is Boring

Posted in Relationships

People Change

People Change

People change, I should accept that and move on. But when you repeatedly make friends with people who then end up turning a corner and morphing into something else and distancing themselves from you, you start to question the people you make friends with. Okay, you start to question yourself too, as a person, but it seems a lot more mentally healthy to shift the blame. Plus – it’s not all your friends, just a large number of the ones you end up getting close to. But, you do question your judgement.

Then there’s the fact that you have pretty much zero chance of ever meeting a guy. Mostly because your sarcasm comes off as mean, your standards are too high, you’re only average pretty and even if you had the opportunity to talk to a guy, you’d probably get scared and back out. But you want to meet someone someday, because your entire life you have seen yourself growing up and having kids and a husband and a good job. And you are intensely afraid of being alone.

You try to be an optimist, and everyone buys it. It’s okay because you have guy friends and girl friends and you aren’t really alone, you have a good family and you put on a smiling face. When your Aunt asks you at Christmas dinner whether you have any love interests, you smile and say no, not yet, I’m just waiting, plus I am pretty busy with school anyway. Even when they begin to question whether you even get exposed to boys since you technically go to an all girls campus, you react calmly and inform them that classes are coed and there are boys on campus all the time. You even enjoy helping your friends through their ups and downs with their boyfriends and boy-jerks and hopeful crushes.

Yeah, you look happy. But on the inside, you are the person who your “friends” have abandoned. Who knows she should be grateful for what she does have, but instead feels betrayed and does’t know where to turn to. You’re the person who is fighting little battles inside. The battle of, I’m becoming reliant on social media to make me feel empowered. The battle of I wish I could live in the world of Grey’s Anatomy instead of my life. The battle of I don’t know who my friends are. And the battle of what if I just suck at perceiving people, and even if I were to meet a guy he would probably just change. Because that seems to be the kind of person I like.

But let’s be honest. People change. Trust is violated. People move on. There is still hope.

Posted in Insight

Seeing the air around technology

Hello friends! We just had the most interesting discussion in my Communications class about the effect that technology has on society and the individual. After watching parts of a video from 2010 on PBS Frontline we discussed how we as humans evolve to adapt to technology, as well as some of the challenges that technology can present. I am going to focus more on our in class discussion than on the video, but if you find it interesting I highly recommend watching it.

After the first day of discussion we had talked about how we did not agree with the MIT students in the video who said that they were perfectly capable of multitasking and actually thought they did it well. We knew from our experiences that with access technology such as our laptops it was better not to have lots of social networking sites or our email open while we were trying to study or write a paper. Interestingly, most of us did not find music or noisy places overly distracting.We also talked about how sometimes a retreat from technology can be very refreshing and prompt one to embrace living in the moment.

Finally, we brought up the topic of how technology ends up affecting interpersonal relationships Continue reading “Seeing the air around technology”

Posted in Identity

The top 3 reasons why I fail at seizing the moment but that’s okay.

IMG_5091

There is a story that I want to tell you. It’s not my story, in fact, it’s just a classic. I’m not sure where it originated, and it has religious undertones, but I think that the concept can be applied whether or not you have religious beliefs.

Here’s the story:

There were once three men standing on the top of a house because there was a huge flood. Along came a rescue raft full of neighbors and a rescue crew. They only had room for one more man before the raft was too full to float. Out of the three men on the roof only one was religious. He told the other two men that they could go – that God would save him. One man got on the raft. As they stood there the rain continued to fall and the water continued to rise. The men were forced to climb further up onto the house. After quite a few minutes a helicopter flew by. The second man gratefully took the rope that the rescue crew threw down to him. The other man said, no, God will save me. After waiting a few minutes longer, the man who believed in God was getting anxious, he prayed to God out loud for salvation. As the water was coming up over the man’s shins a police rescue boat strolled by. The officers reached out to the man and told him that they were the last ones out of the neighborhood, and that he needed to come with them. But, the man who believed in God again said that God would save him. Needless to say the third man died. In heaven he was talking to God. He asked why God had forsaken him and left him to die. Continue reading “The top 3 reasons why I fail at seizing the moment but that’s okay.”

Posted in Insight

What the media isn’t telling you

Movies

Wow, it has been a while since I have posted. Somehow being home for the holidays was majorly time-consuming and then school started up again, so I have had a plethora of things I wanted to blog, but no actual time to explain them.

But here goes!

The media, is something that surrounds every single one of us, every day of our lives, and most of the time, we don’t even take the time to acknowledge it. My Media and Society Professor put it simply; “Media is like the air around us, we know it’s there, but we can’t see it unless it is polluted.” To understand why we don’t see the media most of the time we have to consider: what is media? A textbook might define media as industries involved in music, television, movie, book, newspaper and magazine production and distribution. In an era where digital technologies are taking precedence for communication, entertainment, news and even commerce we are exposed to so many examples of media. Continue reading “What the media isn’t telling you”

Posted in Identity

Dogging around

Puppy

As a kid one of my main goals was to get a dog. My grandma who lived out of state had a dog, my cousins had a dog, my friends had dogs, I read books about families with dogs. In my mind being able to care for a dog every day would be ten times more interesting than pretending that my baby dolls were crying and feeding them with little plastic bottles so that they would stop.

I wanted something real. I wanted a living breathing animal to care for. Correction, I wanted a real, living, breathing and cuddly animal to care for. I would ask my parents for a dog. I would ask Santa for a dog. I would see a dog walking on the street without an owner and hope that it was lost so that Continue reading “Dogging around”